Full Moon at 50

February 28, 2010, was landmark day for me. It was my diamond birthday, my 50th birthday. As we were driving home from a fun filled family birthday trip, I noticed there was a full moon. I contemplated the notion that this particular monthly celestial event could possibly be a good omen for me. Since it was, after all, my 50th birthday, to me, this wasn't just an ordinary full moon.


In 1960, the year of my birth, it was a leap year, meaning that the month of February had 29 days, instead of the normal 28. As legend has it, or should I say the way my mother always told me the story, she was worried I would be born on the 29th, and wanted to make sure I was out before then. February 28, 1960, was a Sunday, and there was supposedly a blizzard raging outside the Indiana University Medical Center in Indianapolis at the time. Due to some minor complications during labor, my mother had to be put to sleep in order to deliver me. I never knew the nature of the complications, so they must've been minor, and in the end, my delivery was normal. However, my mother's sub-conscience mind was very active during that time, and she dreamt of having a beautiful, baby girl, with a full head of hair and perfect skin. I have a sister who was born five years earlier, and the pictures reveal that she was a beautiful baby, with tons of thick dark hair, perfect skin, and a proportional body.


With those visions in her head, you can imagine that when she awoke, she was surprised to hear that she had given birth to a baby boy. When they brought me in to meet my mother for the first time, she rejected me, saying that they were giving her the wrong baby. My mother was convinced there was some kind of mistake, because she was sure in her mind that she had given birth to a baby girl. The nurses had to go get my father, who was in medical school at the time, and was actually present during my birth, to assure my mother that she did in fact, give birth to a baby boy, and I was the right baby.


My mother cried the first time she saw me, because in her words, and I quote, "You were the ugliest baby I'd ever seen in my life." I was long, very skinny, and not one hair on my head. My skin was pink and wrinkly, and my face was so scrunched up I didn't bare any resemblance to her first born, perfect daughter. The only good thing about me was that I didn't cry much, but to say my mother was disappointed was an understatement. She said she held me in disbelief, and asked my father several times if this ugly baby she was holding was really hers. I've always wondered if that first rejection had anything to do with the many psychological issues I've been dealing with most of my life. Probably not, I can't blame everything on the first few hours of my life.


It's taken me almost two months to put my 50th birthday into perspective. I'm not sure why. I have friends who have had problems dealing with the half-century mark. Others just remind me it's just a number and it's no big deal. "Keep on living and doing what you do." Makes sense, after all, there isn't anything I can do about it. 


So, after much contemplation, I've decided to not worry about it, because there is nothing that can be done about it. I have to live my life, keep working, and take care of my family. However, I can spice it up a bit.


It started with indoor skydiving, sort of a preparation for a tandem jump I'm doing later this year. Even with the fan cranked up all the way, I couldn't go up very high, but the instructor said it was the exact sensation of jumping out of an airplane. So, I think I'm ready. We'll see.


I'm also getting a tattoo this year. I've been designing one for over 20 years, and now that I've had all the children I'm going to have, it's time to finally do it. Not a large one, but it is very personal to me. I don't care what anybody thinks. Whether I'm an idiot, or immature, (most who know me would say both) I'm doing it anyway.


I'm not making a "bucket list" because I'm not planning on dying anytime soon. I plan on taking advantage of medical technology to extend my life. I will certainly live longer than my parents, hopefully. My goal is to see my children grow up, be able to take care of themselves, and see them be happy and successful. I'd also like to play with my grandchildren. Despite my late start, this is my desire. I'll be old, for sure, but grandparents are supposed to be old. I figure that if I start to live in daily physical pain, then the time is near. To be blunt, when I can't go to the bathroom by myself, it's time for euthanasia. Do you have a quality of life if you can't wipe your own butt? To me, no. It's time to go.


I've done some research on the subject of full moons, and what the native American Indians have said about it. In February 1960, the full moon was on the 12th, so I missed out on that. However, the "New Moon" phase was on the 28th, so me being new, and the moon being new, maybe there is something special in that. I have yet to find out an exact meaning, but it all seems good to me. What I do know, is that if there is a full moon on your birthday, it brings you good luck. So in my mind, a full moon on my 50th birthday is great news. Let's face it, no matter how you take it, your 50th birthday is a big day in your life.


Having the full moon on my 50th birthday was a special event for me, and I've decided to do things in my life I've always wanted to do. Skydiving, tattoos, travel to places I've never been, be happier, be a better father & husband, maybe even some mountain climbing, kayaking and high performance driving lessons in cars & motorcycles. I've already done a "2 up" ride on a race bike at Daytona at speeds up to 170 mph. That has definitely increased my interest in learning to do it myself.


In reality, 50 years old isn't middle age. 40 years old was middle age. At 50, they say your best years are behind you. I call bullshit on that, even though both of my parents died before the age of 70. While I most likely won't live to be 100, over half of my life is over, that is a simple fact. Having said that, I plan on living out the rest of my years with as much gusto as I can, packing in as much excitement as I can. What else can you do? I'm not going to sit around and wait for the bed pan. All great ideas of exciting things to do I will consider, no matter how risky or dangerous. I believe when it's my time to leave this earth, the good Lord will take me, no matter what I'm doing. When it's your time, it's your time. Life is good, it might as well be fun too.


My favorite quote of all time is from a fellow Hoosier, James Dean, and I couldn't agree with him more. "Dream as if you'll live forever. Live as if you'll die today." Very prophetic coming from a man who was tragically killed at the young age of 24, just beginning his rise to superstardom in the movie business. No surprise he lost his life pushing a high performance Porsche sports car to it's limits on a lonely stretch of road near Paso Robles, California.


So, full moon at 50? I'll take that as a very positive sign. I've had a great life, also a lucky life. I have a knack for being in the right place at the right time. Sure, there have been bumps in the road, mostly caused by me, but you live and learn. The first 50 years have been great. I've truly been blessed. Who knows? Maybe I'll get 50 more. If I do, they won't be boring. I can promise you that.